Last Call: In Soviet Russia, Food Culture Eat You!

The Umlaut: We all know why British food sucks (industrialization) and why American food sucks (fast food), but no one’s ever thought about why other cultures can have sucky cuisines. For instance, Soviet cuisine’s badness can beĀ tied to the Balkanization of regional food culture under the Soviet regime! And here we thought that Russians were just depressed all the time.

Anthony Bourdain: In anticipation of his New Mexico episode, Bourdain explains his ambiguity towards the gun debate. “I may be a New York lefty,” he writes, “with all the experiences, prejudices and attitudes that one would expect to come along with that, but I do NOT believe that we will reduce gun violence — or reach any kind of consensus — by shrieking at each other.”

Eater: What does Kristen Kish dress like in the office? Oh, just the most dapper goddamned lady ever. NBD.

The Food Boner: This is a way better plan than boycotting Barilla products: purchase them, and instead of eating them, use them to engage in fun gay activities!

Vogue: Aziz Ansari and Danny Bowien are teaming up for Le Grand Fooding, in which Danny Bowien will make fortune cookies and Aziz Ansari will fill them with predictions the likes of “Ja Rule is right behind you.”

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