WhoSay: Man, we would be so happy with this triceratops cake made by Duff Goldman, if it weren’t for the fact that the triceratops species never existed. But hey, the customer’s always, right, eh, Duff? Even when it goes against archaeological evidence to the contrary? (No, we’re not bitter that our childhoods were scientifically based on lies.)
The New York Times: A new state law in Montana allows people to take home any roadkill they find — or, in many cases, accidentally kill by hitting them with their cars — and eat them. The obvious threat here, though, is whether guns will be replaced by cars as hunting weapons. (There’s a Second Amendment case for you, Roberts Court!)
Epicurious: Today was such a sleepy summer Friday that we read this piece Hugh Acheson wrote about rice and were legitimately moved.
Grub Street: An Anthony Weiner wiener mobile, “festooned with sexting-charcuterie puns,” is zipping its way through New York right now, dispensing free hot dogs on behalf of an oh-so-clever marketing company. We’re so over this joke, because technically, it’s Weiner like wine, not wiener, like wiener. UGH, SPEAK BETTER GERMAN, CARLOS DANGER.
Wall Street Journal: Remember how Mary Sue Milliken is married to business partner and fellow hot tamale Susan Feniger’s ex-husband, whom she dumped to become a lesbian? Turns out he’s also both of their present-day architects. Because anything goes in California ex-webs.
Esquire: Josh Ozersky gives his best tips on: making tartar at home, killing fetuses.
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