Dennis Smith, the Virginia owner of Calabash Seafood Restaurant and Club Midway, was tired of having to deal with male hoodlums vandalizing and smashing things in his men’s bathrooms. So he did what any entrepreneur would do to protect his assets: he put a camera in the bathroom, that private, holy place where men may pee in solitude.
Naturally, everyone agreed that his actions were appropriate measures and not creepy. And by everyone, we mean no one. Per the Huffington Post:
Smith’s surveilling was cut short about two weeks after he mounted the camera in late summer when it was damaged by a customer who disliked the idea, he said.
After receiving a report of the damaged camera equipment, the sheriff’s office charged Charles K. Bailey, 28 of Mechanicsville, with misdemeanor vandalism, Whitley said.
When Smith gave surveillance footage to investigators, hoping Bailey would be arrested, the sheriff’s office also started looking into whether Smith had broken a law.
Even though the sheriff’s office determined that the camera couldn’t capture footage of anyone doing their private business, state law dictates that putting a camera in an area where people have a reasonable expectation of privacy is totally freaky gross and disgusting. At most, Smith could be charged with a misdemeanor, which, apparently, he is cool with:
Smith admits the camera could have potentially captured someone undressing just inside the bathroom door or by a sink — areas he says are essentially public when the bathroom door is open.
“Everybody in that hallway can see you. So you’re going to tell me you expect privacy there?” Smith said. “I don’t want to see any nude pictures of people’s private parts. Absolutely not. I’ve got other better things to do. … I’m just trying to protect my property.”
Of course he doesn’t want to see stranger dong! He just wants the strangers to think that he might be looking at their penises. What a huge difference! Thank you for making that explicit. Everyone must feel better about it already, especially the women in the ladies’ bathroom:
Smith said he has no immediate plans to install a camera in the women’s bathroom, which isn’t vandalized as frequently, though he wants to keep his options open.
“If I have to, I’ll walk around here with an M-16 to protect my property if that’s what it’s going to take,” Smith said.
We’ve heard that penises can shrink from fear. Are our boobs shrinking from fear right now, too? We think they might be.
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