On last night’s MasterChef, Twitter Racist Krissi (who, yes, is still in the competition) won the Mystery Box Challenge, giving her the advantages of both not having to cook in the Pressure Test, and assigning each of her fellow competitors a different live bird to catch, symbolizing the poultry they’d be cooking for elimination. Sidebar: who knew quails were so chubby and cute?
Jordan received the aforementioned cuddly quail, who would ultimately be his demise, as he pan-seared it with no prep other than treating it with salt and pepper. It didn’t help that he miraculously also both over- and under-cooked his vegetables, and that the judges tore apart his beautiful plate, mushing all the components together, and ripping the so-undercooked-it-was-practically-still-breathing quail apart for effect. They tried intimidating Jordan with scary accusations of having “checked out” and presenting a “disgusting” dish, but he did a pretty good job of being all, ‘dudes, I really just don’t know how to cook a quail and I HAD to cook quail.’
It wasn’t enough to save him, though, and one of this season’s top bro-ntrunners was sent home. Well-played, Krissi. Still stop tweeting offensive things about the NBA, though.
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