NOPE. NO YOU ARE NOT, PAULA.
Okay, so in anticipation of Paula Deen’s People Magazine cover story hitting newsstands tomorrow, there’s been a painstaking trickle of details from her interview plaguing the news cycle all week: like how she’s opening a new restaurant in Tennessee, and has learned valuable lessons from her scandal, such as to keep her jokes to herself, instead of, you know, like, maybe trying to reprogram her casually racist worldview, or something.
Here’s our latest and most favorite snippet. Said Paula:
“I feel like ‘embattled’ or ‘disgraced’ will always follow my name. It’s like that black football player who recently came out. He said, ‘I just want to be known as a football player. I don’t want to be known as a gay football player.’ I know exactly what he’s saying.”
Paula’s referring to Missouri Tigers Defensive End Michael Sam, who’s on track to become the first openly gay football player in the NFL, provided the NFL doesn’t behave like a collective jackass come draft season. To recap: important facts about Michael Sam include that he played for the Missouri Tigers, that he is a Defensive End (SEC Defensive End of the Year, actually), and that he’s speculated to be a third-to-fifth round draft pick. Important facts do not include: that he is a gay football player, OR THAT HE IS A BLACK ONE, PAULA. JESUS. To quote our SportsBros at SportsGrid:
That’s right, a “black football player” shouldn’t be known as “a gay football player” because that puts him in a box, and people are individuals. A box, like, say, the “black football player” box. Unbelievable.
Not that she would have been drawing a logical parallel if she had left out the word “black.” You are not like a Gay Person of Color, Paula. You are like an old Southern white lady, who is also a millionaire, and who doesn’t really understand how to comport herself in modern society, and who also refuses to learn how to do so. Okay? Okay.
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