Rachael Vs. Guy Celebrity Cook-Off: More Same-Sex Kissing Than We Expected

It’s time, yet again, for the horrorshow known as Rachael Vs. Guy Celebrity Cook-Off, in which Rachael Ray and Guy Fieri round up their favorite D-List celebs and throw them into a cooking competition both loosely mentored and judged by them.

Things we learned on last night’s season two premiere: Chilli (of TLC fame) and Kathy Najimy aged really gracefully; married celebrities love kissing other married celebrities.

Last night’s challenge was a “dinner-theater” extravaganza, in which the teams had to cater a 100-guest meal, as well as perform skits for their diners before service. Why in god’s name has this never been a Top Chef challenge, Andy Cohen? It has such fruitful results! Like, for example, Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir in full drag making out with Tori Spelling’s husband. See below, but fair warning: you can’t unsee it.

Not to be outdone, Kathy Najimy planted a superfluous wet one on Carnie Wilson at the end of their bizarre, fractured fairy-tale version of Cinderella.

Ultimately, Gilbert Gottfried was sent home after Rachael convinced him he couldn’t make eggplant parmesan for one hundred people in two hours. Instead she assigned him classed up PB&J. He wound up in the bottom, but stuck it to Rachael in the end by making another peanut butter sandwich for his elimination dish. Lessons learned: fear the wrath of comedians.

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