With the arrival of a new year comes the return of
the eternal blood rivalry the show Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook-Off, on which Rachael Ray and Guy Fieri tap groups of random celebrities to fight a grueling, protracted proxy war on their behalf.
“Nonsense!” one might think. “It’s just a silly cooking competition, right?” Wrong. Let us explain this show’s intricacies.
In some ways, it’s sort of like a Food Network Cold War: Guy Fieri is America, and his satellite states consist of pop singer Chili, actor Dean McDermott, socialite Cornelia Guest, and figure skater/professional peacock Johnny Weir. Fieri is in a war of attrition with Soviet Rachael and her collective Celebrities’ Republic of Carnie Wilson, Hines Ward, Kathy Najimy and Gilbert Gottfried. But Rachael and Guy can’t fight each other directly (something about mutually assured network destruction), so why not have their little celebrity friends do that for them?
If that was a long, confusing, and Cold War-driven metaphor, this clip should do the trick in explaining everything.
Rachael vs. Guy airs tonight on Food Network at 9 PM/8 CT.
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