WATCH: A Handy Guide To All The Restaurants Banning Your Screaming Kids

Personally, there’s nothing we love more than a precocious six-year-old in a smart pantsuit reveling in the sublime brininess of a dollop of uni at Le Bernardin. But not all restaurants are as tolerable of your tiny nugget-eaters. Ironically, it seems to be mostly casual restaurants with kid-friendly menus implementing the child-ban across the country (a barbecue place? Really?).

Weekend Today ran a story conveniently highlighting some of the spots with anti-child policies in place, where you can direct your letters of complaint. We suggest smugly breastfeeding your well-behaved little one between courses at Alinea and then spamming these restaurants’ Facebook walls with thumbs-up pics of you and Grant Achatz. Or Instagram your exceedingly polite tot’s special plate of bacon-wrapped scallops from the chef at your local white tablecloth joint, and tag these places in retaliation. Go nuts!

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