We don’t know what Lower East Side oyster bar is posting Craigslist ads for “sexy oyster shuckers” on Craigslist, but they’ve clearly never seen an oyster shucking relay on any food competition show ever, because oyster shucking is in the top 5 least sexy food prep tasks we can think of (note to self: future slideshow?).
Oyster shucking most often results in bleeding, sweating, grunting, and grimaces of frustration and malice. But, if there are some experts out there who think they can do it with sex appeal, there’s $13.33 an hour plus tips in it for you. (That’s like, good, right?)
“If you feel a picture would help us determine whether you would be perfect for the job,” the ad creepily suggests, “we would agree.”
Well, okay, then.
Why isn’t Gordon Ramsay hosting a competition show to find employees for THIS restaurant? That show we would gladly watch for two hours a week. A competition prize of working at Gordon Ramsay Steak? Meh. Stripping (?) oyster shuckers? HELLO! Primetime gold. You’re welcome, Fox.
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