WATCH: Stephen Colbert ‘Will Not Pay Another Cent’ For Papa John’s ‘Drowned Raccoon Ass’ Pizza

If the Chick-fil-A controversy has taught us anything, it’s that the best way to get a whole bunch of press is to politicize your fast food. So¬†Papa John’s did just that when it’s founder, John Schnatter stated his opposition to Obamacare because it would raise the price of his pizzas by a whopping 14 cents. Naturally, Stephen Colbert had something to say about that.

Colbert never shies away from the big issues, and the biggest issue of all in this debate is putting that price hike in perspective. Sure, it may seem like a negligible increase, but it’s one that he and the American people will not stand for. After all, is affordable healthcare really worth paying more for a Papa John’s pizza? He doesn’t think so:

People will not be willing to pay another cent, because when you order a Papa John’s pizza, it’s only after you’ve reached a state of such desperate, gnawing hunger that you would eat the ass off a raccoon that drowned in your bird bath, and even then only after making absolutely sure that you’re out of drowned raccoon ass.

Colbert’s solution? Eat the change instead and keep your dignity.

Have a tip we should know?

Filed Under:
  1. Mediaite
  2. The Mary Sue
  3. RunwayRiot
  4. Law & Crime
  5. SportsGrid
  6. AmboTV
  7. Gossip Cop