If you’re anything like we are, you too are a lazy, lazy Halloween planner. DIY costumes? Nah. You head to Ricky’s or whatever god-forsaken Halloween superstore is by you and pick up whatever looks the cheapest and easiest to assemble. But, in our thorough research, we have come to one very obvious conclusion: if you want to go as a food this year for Halloween, just don’t. Food costumes only work for the pets and the children. (And even the kids don’t come away fully unscathed.)
Because we spend all day on the Internet bemoaning the best and the worst of what we find, we present the all-time best and worst food Halloween costumes. Because if you really must, you can’t say that you haven’t been forewarned. From best to worst:
Adorable. Babies can be anything and be perfect.
As can dogs. A hot dog dog? Classic.
If you must go as a food, be a terrible food.
This is not conveying the sexiness, nor the sweetness, you’re probably going for here.
Absolutely not. And also, way too many jokes to be made on a woman’s behalf. Leave the tacos out of this.
This says “I am a very, very sad woman.” Save the money you would have spent on this costume and buy some actual wine instead — a much better life choice.
Ew. Bacon is no longer our favorite food when it is used in such unmeasurably douche bag ways.
Don’t do this to your kid. Don’t ruin mac n’ cheese forever for them. That’s child cruelty.
We kid you not — this is literally called “Annoying Orange Child Costume.” WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO YOUR CHILD?!
But the piece de resistance is …
Go home, Halloween. You’re drunk. (Off of terrible wine bottle costumes.)
RELATED: Paula, Guy, Mario, Padma: How to Dress Like Your Favorite Celebrity Chef This Halloween
Last Call: Restaurant Dresses Up As Alinea For Halloween
WATCH: Guy Fieri Exacts (Peaceful) Halloween Revenge, Dresses Up As Mario Batali
Have a tip we should know? email@example.com