Today in More ‘Artisanal’ Products from Big Brands, Meet PepsiCo’s ‘Caleb’s Kola’

We first read it as “Caleb’s Koala,” which made us think of adorable koala bears, and then we realized that it’s a soda and we were like damnit.

PepsiCo sees your artisanal everything and raised it with a new “craft soda,” named after PepsiCo’s founder, Caleb Bradham, and ridiculously spelled. The drink is made with Fair Trade cane sugar, sparkling water, kola nut extract, and all the other ingredients you typically find on the back of your Pepsi can, according to its website. It’s near impossible by the soda’s branding to tell that it’s another spinoff of Big Soda, Inc., especially with that hashtag #honorwithcraft. Uh, about as craft as an artisanal sandwich from Arby’s.

Naturally, it’s to make the finnicky millennial think soda is “authentic” and we should like totally keep drinking sugary stuff that will kill us someday. The Associated Press notes that “Simon Lowden, chief marketing officer for PepsiCo’s North American beverage unit, recently said in a phone interview that a version of Pepsi made with ‘real sugar’ has been performing well.” And we all know that nothing is more real than diabetes.

The soda is available at select Costco’s throughout New York, Maryland, Virginia, and Washington D.C.

[Caleb’s Kola, Associated Press]

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