Turkey Day Apocalypse: The Absolute WORST Thanksgiving Food Hybrids of All TimeThe Worst Thanksgiving Food Hybrids, EVER
To us, Thanksgiving is sacred. The best holiday of the year. Stuffing, turkey, mashed potatoes galore. Homemade sweet potatoes the way Nana made them. Pumpkin and pecan pie made just right. Bottles on bottles of wine. Family and friends. Is there a need to really change it up or spice things up? Nah. (We once suggested adding another vegetable on the menu, like a brussel sprout dish or beets, and everyone was like “but … why?” IDK, to feel remotely healthy?) So, with the mess of stupid sh*t we see on the Internet, we have to ask: when it comes to Thanksgiving, why mess up a good thing?
It’s the same brains that feel the need to make ramen into doughnuts, pumpkin spice lattes into burgers, and the list goes on and on. In short: our hybrid-loving, overly creative minds
looking for a viral hit have gone and just ruined Thanksgiving for us. We’ve already ruined pumpkin spice for everyone by sticking it in our lattes and every other food product, do we have to go ahead and throw Thanksgiving foods in the dumps of overly saturated seasonal foods?
In short: we do not approve of this list. Just give us our massive plate of stuffing and leave us be.
1. The hot dog turkey, or the “hot durkey”
Our gag reflex just kicked in.
2. A turkey made of chicken nuggets, and “gravy” made of Taco Bell hot sauce packets
Just because something is kitschy doesn’t mean it should be done.
3. Bacon-wrapped turkey *
Leave bacon out of this.
4. Thanksgiving-flavored potato chips
Why eat chips that taste like stuffing when you can eat stuffing that tastes like stuffing?
5. Thanksgiving-flavored doughnuts
WHY RUIN DOUGHNUTS TOO?!
Just eat your turkey, cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes like a normal person and leave the wasabi out of it.
To be fair, we’d give this a try. But we still are wary of it.
In conclusion: we can only approve on one Thanksgiving Day-themed hybrid. And it appeared on a TV show.
[Mashable, Buzzfeed, The Daily Meal, Huffington Post, Eater, Foodbeast, Gothamist]
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*Disclaimer: We worked at The Daily Meal, and was present to when this idea was brought up and executed. We still think it’s a terrible idea.
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