Survey Finds That Wine Companies Choose Worst Words To Describe Wine, Like ‘Chunky’ And ‘Hedgerow’

When opening a bottle of red wine and taking a sip of fine bourdeaux, is the first word you think of…”skeletal”? How about “canny,” as in “tastes of a can”? Maybe you desired something more “chunky,” “leathery,” and “vegetal” — essentially, like an old potato in your champagne flute?

Or perhaps, as the researchers of One Poll discovered when they polled 1,000 wine drinkers about wine descriptions, very few adverbs used in describing wine make no damn sense. They chose 43 words from various wine bottle labels, and according to the Telegraph55% poll respondents found that the labels — especially with the following words written on them — were so very, very confusing:

Those found most confusing were the phrases “firm skeleton” (designated least useful by 37 per cent), “old bones” (35 per cent), “nervy” (31 per cent) “wet stone” (27 per cent), “tongue spanking” (21 per cent) “haunting” (21 per cent), “spring hedgerows” (19 per cent) and “brooding” (18 per cent).

Other terms found puzzling included: “vegetal”, “leathery”, “chunky”, “canny” and “minerality”.

The most helpful terms were “fresh” (considered useful by 47 per cent), “zesty” (43 per cent) and “peachy” (31 per cent).

Moreover, “only a third (33.7) said they were helpful, while almost half (45 per cent) said they found them ‘pompous,” and two-thirds of the ignorant plebians found that their wines never smelled like what the label claimed they did. We’re sorry, what? All the subjects polled had a working knowledge about wine? Well, perhaps they just don’t appreciate chunky wines. Hmph. Peasants.

[The Telegraph via Jezebel]

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