WATCH: Woman Takes Over Elizabeth Warren Rally With List of Demands Like Torture for Child Abusers and Pharma Execs


A New Hampshire woman stole the show at a rally for Massachusetts Senator and Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren by reading an at-times hilarious list of demands that included novel forms of punishment for child abusers and pharmaceutical executives, as well as a change in the regulation of artesian wells.

Senator Warren took questions after delivering her stump speech at a town hall event in Newport, New Hampshire Thursday, and her final questioner was a doozy: a woman who introduced herself as Lucy Wells.

Wells began by thanking her local highway crew for fixing the road, then told Warren “I have a list that I made, and I will just give you the highlights. Pretend they’re questions.”

She then launched into a litany of suggestions that alternately drew laughter and thunderous applause from the crowd.

Wells: Some of them are the usual things, but I want to include respect for all religions. I want to place abusers of children on a melting slippery arctic iceberg while they await trial without internet.

Warren: That’s a good plan.

Wells: I want actual rehabilitation education skill building for the prison populations and keeping the incarcerated close to home.

Warren: Yes.

Wells: I want a minimum wage of $20 per hour and management training.

Warren: Oh wow. Uh-huh.

Wells: I want an end to international piracy, drug trafficking, kidnapping, and modern slavery. My requests are modest.

Warren: Dream big, uh-huh.

Wells: I want the pharma kingpins, I want them to run through a gauntlet in hospitals, nursing homes, senior citizen centers and children’s critical care units. A severe gauntlet. I want, as you mention, reversals to cuts and compromises in scientific research environmental protection and national parks. I want restoration of funding in public events for the arts.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that my soccer-playing grandchildren who are elementary school age, I want salaries for professional sports women to literally be on a level playing field.

Warren: You bet.

Wells: Internationally please, I would like equal rights for women. I would like respect for the languages and traditions of all peoples, and the more immigrants we have the more they are needed with their language skills, their multi-language skills. I want civility among us all. I want the oversight on reverse mortgages to eliminate the artesian well prohibition, deal-killing language, so rural homeowners can rightly be included. It’s way down in all the pages. Tiny tiny print. No artesian wells.

I want installation of loud screeching smoke alarms in the White House and legislative halls and campaign events to alert when pants or skirts are on fire. Perhaps lastly I want teamwork and peace for our struggling earth. Thank you.

Warren: I love democracy. Thank you Lucy, you have some wonderful wonderful ideas here.

Watch the clip above, via Fox News.

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