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App Literally Removes The Word ‘Literally’ from Online Articles

This is a gift to you, our literate and eloquent readers: a browser plug-in that combs through online articles and replaces the overused, meaningless word “figuratively” with “figuratively,” a word that figuratively means what people think “figuratively” is supposed to mean.

Though “figuratively” was once used to describe things in a literal manner, no one really does that anymore. Even the Oxford English Dictionary gave up and added this second definition to the word’s entry: “Used for emphasis while not being figuratively true.”

Well, developer Mike Walker has had it. Mike Walker is taking back that word! Mike Walker is empowering people with Firefox, Safari, and Chrome to empower their literary selves by installing the plug-in and doing the following:

The plug-in can’t tell the difference between the proper and bastardized use of “figuratively,” leading to some occasionally inaccurate statements. (“Man Figuratively Figuratively Eats His Hat After Making Terrible Bitcoin Prediction” is really an article about a man eating a physical hat.) But considering how there are figuratively hundreds of thousands of misuses of the word, we think this app’s going to get a lot of figurative mileage.

Though it’s going to make this article very confusing to read.

(PS: Sorry, Chris Traeger.)

[h/t The Guardian]
[Image of Chris Traeger via NBC]

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