Attention Hog? Donald Trump Addresses ‘Pizza-gate’ Via Strange Homemade Video
Donald Trump, the once and possibly future potential possible candidate for the Republican or the Independent Party, maybe, who knows, is probably slightly miffed that a certain someone’s alleged appendage is enjoying a warm, sunny spot in the media glow despite Trump’s best efforts to perplex the general public by eating pizza with fellow reality TV star and fellow potential possible GOP candidate, maybe, Sarah Palin. During a stop on her mysterious bus tour. In the middle of Times Square. At a chain pizza restaurant. While eating his pie with a fork. (If you can’t see why this is an offense of an unimaginable magnitude, please listen to this heartfelt rant by fellow New York Pizza Elitist™ Jon Stewart. Like. Have you tried Lombardi’s, Donald? Grimaldi’s? Totonno’s? Seriously, try Totonno’s. Any other pizza after that tastes vaguely of AstroTurf. And no one there will be wearing a fannypack, except possibly ironically.)
Not one to be out-gated, Trump attempted to explain “Pizzagate” in addition to shedding no light on whether Palin actually plans to run:
So there you have it. He used a fork to eat his pizza, not unlike some alien visiting Earth in human guise might, because he’s watching his figure (he’s a man of the people). And here we are! Lapping it all up like so much microwave-heated calzone. Sad face.