On Monday, businessman/news cycle hijacker Donald Trump announced on Fox & Friends that he will have a “very big” announcement concerning President Obama on Wednesday that will be “very big” and will be covered “in a very big fashion” because it will be “bigger than anybody would know” and will shake the entire fabric of this nation.
Rumors circled that the announcement involves rumors that Obama was a cocaine dealer in college; another rumor was that the big announcement was about divorce papers drawn up by Michelle Obama a decade ago. We also jumped into the speculation game with the top eight possibilities about this super huge awesome announcement — including the possibility that family dog Bo Obama is a secret Muslim.
Well, folks, it turns out we were wrong (who saw that coming?)… and so was everyone else.
Trump’s super secret, totally huge announcement about President Obama was…
Trump offered President Obama a deal: “If Obama opens up and gives his college records and applications, and if he gives his passport applications and records, I will give to a charity of his choice. Inner-city children in Chicago, American Cancer Society, AIDS research. Anything he wants. A check, immediately, for $5 million.”
Releasing these records, Trump says, will extinguish “the anger of many Americans” because now “they’ll know something about their president.”
“Their president will become transparent,” Trump concluded.
Watch the announcement below:
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