Congressional hearings and firings ensued, and the Secret Service promised to find ways to beef up security. So far, the solutions are: 1) higher fence, and 2) spikes. Lots of spikes.
(Seriously, look at this dinky fence to the left of this paragraph. You know what it needs? Say it with me: MORE. SPIKES. MORE. SPIKES. MORE. SPIKES.)
The AP reports that the new fence will have “steel ‘pencil point’ spikes…snapped into place at the top of the fence and protrude outward,” and was clearly inspired by a nine-year-old pretending that he’s Wolverine by holding pencils between his fingers, or by the cars from Mad Max.
The final design has yet to be approved by the Commission of Fine Arts, who want to ensure that the White House doesn’t look inaccessible and surrounded by a fence of sharp, unwelcoming spikes. To which we chant: More spikes! More! More, I say! It’s better and easier than reforming an organization, marked by scandal and poor training, charged with protecting the President! #TEAMSPIKES
The spikes will be no problem for a drone.
[Image via Shutterstock]
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