So, I’m peripherally watching the World Cup, wondering to myself for the hundred-and-eighth time if one of those annoying World Cup horns (they’re called vuvuzela, latin for “Does this bug you?”) will actually fit up a soccer fan’s ass sideways, when I hear the goofily melodic strains of the Mos Eisley Cantina Band. I turn, and am confronted with the worst perversion of the Star Wars franchise since Bea Arthur sang there in the Star Wars Holiday Special. Actually, that was kinda awesome.

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The Mos Eisley Cantina is the bar from Star Wars, for you non-dorks, or Chalmun’s Cantina, for those of you so dorky, even I have standing to mock you. In an ad that’s sure to run constantly during the World Cup, Adidas has apparently gotten the green light to remake the iconic locale as a hangout for soccer players with a World Cup jones. And Snoop Dogg.

Okay, Snoop Dogg with a lightsaber is also actually pretty cool (assuming the surviving members of Run-DMC were unavailable)

, but it’s still jar-jarring to see the defining film of my generation turned into a sneaker ad. I imagine this is how my dad felt when they used Revolution in a Nike ad.

Of course, the big difference with Star Wars is that it has already been tainted by a round of “enhancements” to the original films (including a ridiculous extended cantina scene), and a trio of increasingly muddled prequels. Now, I think there’s even a Star Wars-themed show on Food Network.

So, since being a Star Wars purist is a losing proposition, at least I can take solace in the fact that it has been sold out in the name of soccer, the Jar-Jar Binks of the sports world.

Tags: Adidas, Nike, Star Wars, Tommy Christopher