As we in New York await our Michael Bloomberg-mandated soft drink sizes (How on earth can we enjoy The Avengers when our soda cups don’t have enough room to feature the whole team?! Medium cups can’t fit the Hulk and lovingly detailed shots of Scarlett Johansson’s butt!), it’s time for the Mayor to start fixing other aspects of our daily lives. While driving isn’t the most obvious option (what New Yorker even has a car?), there are still plenty of “problems” that can be “fixed.” And now, thanks to Brian Sack and The B.S. of A., we now have a glimpse at what life would be if we drove a Chevy Bloomberg.
Featuring such wonderful taglines as “Slow down, fatty!,” the Chevy Bloomberg features the soothing malevolence of 2001‘s HAL with the self righteous pestering of a disappointed mother. Who wouldn’t want that?
Of course, it’s not all bad. Some people probably do need a car that yells at them to not text while driving. And there are probably a couple people out there who wouldn’t mind a radio that instantly switches the show of Sack’s boss Glenn Beck over to the calming sounds of a rainforest. In fact, maybe that’s a format shift Mediaite should go for. We’ll write up nothing but video clips of waterfalls!
Long live, Bloomberg Mediaite; Keep reading, fatty!
Watch the clips from GBTV below:
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