The Mediaite Staff Casts Trump: The Movie With Natalie Portman, Kathy Bates, Nic Cage, and More
A common sentiment throughout the 2016 election and now Donald Trump‘s presidency has been, “This is like a TV show.” Here at Mediaite, we’ve been thinking a little differently. To us, it’s like a movie.
The TV-show comparisons are apt, sure. Chuck Todd thinks that some of the Trump administration’s moves “would be a rejected plot line in House of Cards or The Americans.” Veep‘s dysfunctional administration has been praised as being superior to Trump’s. Still, this White House is a movie and we’re only at the part where the drama really starts mounting just ahead of the plot’s climax. Currently, there are a lot of politicians and pundits pushing for and warning of impeachment.
We need to cast the movie before we get to that part.
Don Jr. and Eric Trump
In the role of Ivanka Trump, we cast Paris Hilton, who has mastered the art of letting her beauty help her look more innocent than she is.
Much like Shawn Mendes, the 18-year-old musical wunderkind we cast to play him, Jared Kushner appeared on all of our radars overnight.
Just think of how much fun Michael Moore would have playing Steve Bannon.
Josh Gad is a character actor who is best known for his turns in musicals. How great would it be if Sean Spicer burst into song?
At Mediaite editor Justin Baragona's suggestion, our metric for casting Kellyanne Conway was, "Who won't come across as sympathetic?" Meet Katherine Heigl.
Natalie Portman is known for getting deep into her characters and even has experience playing first ladies. Both will serve her in her attempt to play the complex and mysterious Melania Trump.
For time and clarity, we edited the Eric and Don Jr. characters into one: Leo DiCaprio.
The answer to "Who does Reince Priebus remind me of?" has always been Rick Moranis.
Both of them have sharp jaws and an affinity for growing and shaving beards over an over, so Matthew Morrison is our Paul Ryan.
Is Dana Carvey not turtle-y enough for Mitch McConnell's turtle club?
Emma Thompson would kill it as Elizabeth Warren.
Think of Robert De Niro's 'Meet the Parents' character for Chuck Schumer. Is he super serious or really jokey? No one knows.
Mike Pence will be played by Victor Garber, that unassuming guy who always finds himself elevated to the starring role...
If you can't see Megan Mullally as NYT's Maggie Haberman, we don't know how to help you.
Jon Stewart should be CNN's Jim Acosta if only so we can all see his response to Trump's "You're fake news!" outburst.
Like Sean Hannity, Nic Cage is always on late-night TV playing the last guy who is still pushing some zany theory.
Former FBI director James Comey is too tall to cast with an actor. We had to get Kristaps Porzingis out of the NBA.
Penultimately, we leave you with Kathy Bates as Sergey Kislyak. Good, right?
Click through above to see our casting choices!
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