City councilman, plumber, and self-announced candidate for US Senate David Waddell announced his resignation from the board of Indian Trail, NC, using the words of patriots — specifically, the words from the fictional Star Trek language of Klingon.
In an interview with the Charlotte Observer, Waddell, the only elected representative of North Carolina’s Constitution Party, said that he quit due to the city’s restrictive policies on accessing public records, as well as accelerated development in the town of 34,800. So he tendered his resignation, written in the language of a mighty, imaginary warrior race that doesn’t exist and is totally fake, to the mayor, Michael “Puj Puq Nuch” Alvarez.
It goes as such:
(Explains Waddell, who translated his statement using Bing: “Folks don’t know what to think of me half the time, [so] I might as well have one last laugh.” Truer words have never been gutturally uttered.)
Despite the city’s mayor denouncing the statement as “an embarrassment,” the conservative-leaning Waddell plans on conquering new lands and subjugating fearsome enemies, like Senator Kay Hagan (D-NC), whom he will challenge in 2016 via moQbara’, or barring that, a write-in campaign.
In his defense, according to the 2006 Guinness Book of World Records, Klingon is the most popular fictional spoken language in the world. (However, we probably would’t rag on him so hard if he spoke the sexier fictional language of Dothraki.)
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