Anderson Cooper Describes ‘Rigorous’ TSA Pat Down: ‘Feels Incredibly Intrusive”

Junk-touching TSA gropers have claimed their first celebrity news victim. In an airport security debate at the top of his 360 show on CNN Monday night, Anderson Cooper revealed his own experience with glove-wearing TSA agents:

“I went through this for the first time this weekend flying out of Chicago, and everyone was very nice and professional, but I got to tell you it feels incredibly intrusive. I had a pat down after I had this thing because I left my wallet in my pants. I mean, it’s pretty… rigorous.”

Legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin was unmoved by the silver-haired host’s hands-on experience. “It’s rigorous, but remember, Detroit Christmas Day. The Al Qaeda bomber had a bomb in his underwear. This is not a frivolous concern by the TSA. And the law is very clear. You go through the scanner, you go through the pat down, or you don’t fly.”

Cooper, ever classy even in describing what others have described as a hand search that borders on sexual assault, leaves you wondering how high octane host Rick Sanchez might’ve handled the inevitable junk touching demonstration. Ah, Rick, where are you when we need you? If you need a Rick fix, here’s his “taze me bro” moment.

In comparison, Cooper struggles to find the right words to tell his own story:

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