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Best Story Ever? Police Called After Man In Gorilla Suit Is Attacked By Man In Banana Costume

This is it. We can all go home now. There will never be a better news report than this one from WJW in Cleveland about a man in a gorilla costume who works as a cell phone store mascot and got tackled by a random kid in a banana costume. Amazing.

I really don’t even want to describe it. To do so would kill the joy of watching the video below. Instead, I think I’ll just list my favorite parts in bullet points.

  • The fact that reporter Melissa Reid forces every banana and monkey pun imaginable into the story.
  • The fact that we don’t have any footage of the incident and instead have to imagine it with the help of the store’s manager who acts it out and compares it to a fight scene from the movie 300.
  • The fact that the man in the gorilla costume clearly didn’t want to have his name out there so they just refer to him repeatedly as “the gorilla.”
  • The fact that the manager looks like Captain Awesome from the TV show Chuck.
  • The fact that they play the 911 call and the dispatcher sounds pissed off to even be hearing this story.
  • The fact that gorillas are used to sell cell phones at all.

If this isn’t the perfect Friday news story, nothing is.

Watch the clip from WJW below:

(h/t The Awl)

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