Bill Maher Gives Tough-Love Graduation Speech to Class of 2019: ‘The World Isn’t Fair…Like the Electoral College’


Bill Maher Mock Commencement Address Class of 2019

On Real Time, Bill Maher targeted the first graduating class of the “Hey buddy” generation with some hard-nosed, tough-love life lessons in a mock commencement address: “The world is unfair. It’s not like college. It’s like the Electoral College.”

“It is my job as graduation speaker to tell you you are a very special group of young people and the future belongs to you,” he said. “But let’s not kid ourselves, you’re not that special, and the future belongs to China and our robot overseers.”

“You became the ‘hey buddy’ generation,” Maher observed, then adopting the tone of an overly deferential parent: ‘Hey buddy, could you put your shoes on?’ ‘Hey buddy, could you get in the car?”

“But in real life, not everyone is your fucking buddy,” he pointed out. “And that’s why, you’re fucked.”

“No, I mean, really fucked, because no one ever told you ‘No,’ or ‘You’re wrong,’ or ‘You’re in the way,’ or ‘That’s not good enough’ or ‘Wait.’ So you think the whole world is supposed to be your safe space where everything is wonderful and no one even gets their feelings hurt.”

“And parents, I’m here to today to tell you the results of your parenting have been incredible…for the pharmaceutical industry, because these kids are fucked up and need drugs.”

Still riffing on the parents of Generation Z, Maher said the students should be thankful for their support. After all “they’re the ones that scraped together the half a million dollars in bribes needed to get you into this $1,000-a-year keg party they call a college.”

“You should thank them,” he said, for fighting all your battles for you up until now. But that over-protection, he joked, can have some unexpected consequences.

“Thank you for teaching me that any thought, word, action, or feelings I had, was unfair…which didn’t make me a liberal, it made me Donald Trump.”

Screengrab via YouTube.

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