CNN anchor John Berman is absolutely fired up about the World Cup and has no patience for all you haters. And earlier today Berman went into a delightfully ridiculous rant that included taunting all of Europe and a not-so-subtle intimation at masturbation.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Berman was particularly outraged that, for some reason, people on Twitter might not care for all the annoying “OMG GOOOOOAL” tweets we’re going to be getting for the next few weeks, and so there’s an app that will block all World Cup tweets from your timeline.
Berman cried, “Really?! You’d rather read tweets about the grilled cheese sandwich someone had for lunch or the cable anchor who’s too conservative or too liberal or both too conservative and too liberal––you’d rather see that than tweets about a beautiful game played by beautiful people.”
The best part had to be when Berman made the case for caring about the World Cup with this classic argument: you can very easily piss off a bunch of random Europeans by just going “soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer soccer…” instead of calling it “football” like those non-American bastards do.
And here’s how Berman ended his rant: “All of you who don’t want to be part of this, who don’t want to play in this great social conversation, why don’t you just lock the doors, shut the windows, and play with yourselves.”
Watch the video below, via CNN:
[image via screengrab]
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