On his Comedy Central show last night, Stephen Colbert mocked conservative theories about an impending federal ammunitions buyout by pretending the threat was real and that he needed to stock up immediately.
In a segment entitled “Stephen Colbert’s Batshit Serious,” the host faux-descended into paranoia as he listened to various conservative talk radio hosts and news outlets analyze a report that the Department of Homeland Security intended to purchase up to 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition.
Despite the “buyout theories” being debunked, Colbert said, that doesn’t stop folks like Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin from seeing the news as a sign that the government is prepping for a battle with its own citizens. “The government is buying up ammo so that following the economic collapse, they can outgun the American people,” Colbert parroted. “And they need it. ‘Cause right now all they’ve got are tanks, airplanes, helicopters, Predator drones, nuclear missiles and laser cannons. But, if I get my hands on a box of shotgun shells, it is go time, Uncle Fatty.”
The threat of Obama buying up ammunition to make guns useless won’t be the end of this sort of strategic maneuvering, Colbert theorized.
“If Obama can’t take our guns, he’ll make sure you can’t put anything in them,” he said. “After that, he’s gonna come after Rush [Limbaugh] by buying up all the hookers and canned frosting.”
Watch the segment below, via Comedy Central:
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