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Colbert Gives GOP ‘Sausage Fest’ Advice on How to Respect the ‘Bitches’

Republicans candidates and aides are currently undergoing training for the 2014 midterms on how not to alienate women voters by talking about things like “legitimate rape.” On last night’s The Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert decided to get in on the action by teaching the GOP “sausage party” on how to “speak respectfully to the bitches.”

Noting that over 90% of Congressional Republicans are “dudes,” Colbert said he doesn’t get why women don’t love them. Nevertheless, he began with his Rule #1, which instructed the GOP to avoid certain words that women don’t like: “Rape,” “legitimate” and “panties.” Secondly, Colbert suggested reaching out to female voters where they congregate: the women’s bathroom.

But most importantly, Colbert said Republicans should appeal to women on the issues. He even put together this helpful mnemonic device to help them remember exactly what those issues are:

And if all else fails, he suggested, “Just try appealing to the gays. I don’t think they have any women.”

Watch video below, via Comedy Central:

The Colbert Report
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[photo via screengrab]

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