Stephen Colbert was “shaken to core” on Wednesday, upon realizing not only that the Supreme Court may side with the pro-gay marriage side… but that people actually support that. Not just any people, but even certain Fox News hosts.
“I used to think I had a life partner in Bill O’Reilly,” Colbert lamented, “but last night even Papa Bear let me down.”
Replaying O’Reilly’s remarks, Colbert incredulously decried O’Reilly’s “flip flop” and apparently not-strong sentiment toward gay marriage. “You are Bill O’Reilly!” Colbert screamed. “Read your fucking contract! Firemen put out fires, homeless people are crazy, and you feel strongly about everything — especially gay marriage.”
He did feel strongly at one point, Colbert recalled, offering a quick recap of O’Reilly previous statements on the issue, which were not exactly in same vein as his most recent comment (“you’ll be able to marry a goat”).
“If Bill O’Reilly is now pro-gay marriage, and isn’t a phony flip-flopper like Bill Clinton,” Colbert deduced, “that means back when he said gay marriage was like marrying a goat, he was really telling us that he’s pro-goat marriage.”
Which inevitably led to the tale of love between Bill and a goat. Don’t judge, folks.
Take a look, via Comedy Central:
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