Colbert Holds an Intervention For Trump: Instead of ‘Sucking Up’ to Putin, Find a Safer Hobby Like ‘Heroin’


On Thursday night, Stephen Colbert expressed utter shock when he heard that President Donald Trump had invited Russian President Vladimir Putin to the White House.

Earlier in the day, while attacking the media as the “real enemy of the people,” Trump revealed that a second meeting with Putin was in the works.

Such news caused Colbert to literally spit out the water in his mouth.

“Second meeting?!? Second meeting- because the first one went so well!” Colbert exclaimed.

But after dismissing Trump’s vague tweet, he then saw the one made by Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, which revealed that National Security Advisor John Bolton extended an invite for Putin to the White House, which caused Colbert to literally spit out the water in his mouth again.

“Nothing could have gone worse than your meeting in Helsinki!” Colbert said to Trump. “It embarrassed our country! It enraged our allies! It strongly reinforced the idea that Putin’s got something on you! And it’s the first time your party turned against you even a little!”

The Late Show host said he “understands” DNI Dan Coats‘ surprised reaction to the news as well.

“Mr. President, you just, you just found the strength to admit that Putin is personally responsible for attacking our election, so let’s invite him to the White House!” Colbert continued.

Colbert then decided to hold an intervention over Trump’s constant “cozying up” to Putin.

“Mr. President, thank you for being here. I’ve written my thoughts down because this is so emotional,” Colbert began tearing up. “Sir, you’re here because we love our country very much, and you are- in it. And we need you to hear some things. When you attack NATO, I feel like I’m being attacked. And your friend Vladimir? He’s not really your friend. Okay? You’re doing what he wants because you think it’s fun, but what you don’t realize is, if you ever step out of line, he’s going to show the world that you’re a big dirty clown who loves the pee-pee! So, instead of sucking up to dictators, we want you to find a safer hobby. Like volcano parkour. Or shark dentistry. Or heroin. And we’ve got a facility waiting for you. You can go there any time and we’ll pay for it. Paul Manafort‘s already there.”

Watch the clip above, via CBS.

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