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Colbert Lists ‘Offensive’ Gestures Black People Should Avoid After ‘Hands Up, Don’t Shoot’

Stephen Colbert returned from Thanksgiving vacation last night, and after covering the most important thing that happened while he was gone, he moved on to the grand jury decision in Ferguson and the subsequent protests, including the St. Louis Rams players who entered Sunday’s game with their hands in the air.

“For some reason, these protesters won’t take ‘It’s legal to shoot an unarmed black man’ for an answer,” Colbert said. He agreed that it was “tasteless and offensive” for the Rams players to do the “hands up, don’t shoot” pose at an NFL game. “Which reminds me, welcome back Ray Rice, we’ve missed you.”

“Things would be a lot calmer if black people just agreed never to put their hands up, or in their pockets,” Colbert said, pointing to a man who was stopped by police for walking with his hands in his pockets. That led him to list some other others hand gestures that black people should probably avoid if they want to escape suspicion.

“Avoid jazz hands, because jazz hands lead to heroin hands,” he said. Also off-limits: “I’m a little teapot” and “Here’s the church, here’s the steeple.”

Watch video below, via Comedy Central:

[Photo via screengrab]

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