Colbert Takes On ‘Wuss’ Karl Rove By Offering ‘Even More Conservative’ Proposals To Win Over America
Stephen Colbert picked sides in the Karl Rove/Tea Party spat last night… and he’s sticking to his committed conservative guns. This isn’t the time to move to more moderate positions, he argued, it’s time to get even more conservative.
“Karl has turned on them” by starting his new Conservative Victory Project, Colbert asserted. His claim that Tea Partiers cost Republicans winnable races by backing candidates like “Todd ‘legitimate rape’ Akin” is “bogus.” Meanwhile, Rove wants us to back candidates he’s backed… who almost won. Almost.
Well, the Tea Party is not going to take Rove’s “Stab-You-in-the-Back Super PAC lying down.” The GOP, he lamented, is tearing itself apart. A “civil war,” as the media’s been saying.
Given the situation, Colbert was faced with choosing sides: “Deep down, I guess my heart is with the Tea Party.” Because Republicans cannot “wuss out here” — they “need to charge ahead” with “even more conservative positions.”
He helpfully offered a few suggestions. “Forget embracing Latinos, we need a program to shoot them into space,” he asserted. “Let’s give them a pathway into low orbit.”
Gays “should not be allowed to marry or vote.” And women? All of them “should have mandatory trans-vaginal ultrasounds before they can get a driver’s license.”
Take note, Karl.
Take a look, via Comedy Central:
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