A long time ago, Comedy Central stopped airing the New York Friar’s Club Roasts and started doing their own, doing away with the spirit signified by the classic motto “We only roast the ones we love.” Instead, the network has found it much easier to choose celebrities that all of the comedians are already making fun of anyway. Following the recent mocking of Donald Trump, the comedians will now be going through their Twitter archives to dish up their best jokes about Charlie Sheen. What’s interesting though is that the network plans to air the special the same night that CBS is premiering the new, Sheen-less Two and a Half Men.
In a statement, Sheen promised his return to television would be “epic,” admitting that he’s “been providing kindling for this roast for a while.” That’s an understatement. Huge props to any comic who decides to, instead of writing any new jokes, merely use his time to read Sheen’s unedited, recent public statements.
So, who will be the ratings victor on September 19th, CBS or Comedy Central? Charlie Sheen or his replacement, Ashton Kutcher? We’re not sure, but we are sure that, whatever the case, about a million news outlets will use some variation of the word “winning” in their headlines the next morning.
We’re also sure that we’ll probably choose to go to the movies or something that night.
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