Anyone who watches any programming on AMC, IFC, or WE knows that those channels were in trouble. As countless reminders aired during every single commercial break told us, a
dispute between AMC Networks and Dish Network Corp. threatened to wipe out the channels for 14 million Dish subscribers. And, yesterday, the worst happened. Fortunately, while Dish is taking away those channels, they’re replacing them with three others; HDNet, HDNet Movies and Style.
In an effort to help our readers, Mediaite has gone through the content of these channels to try to show subscribers what they should be tuning into now.
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Breaking Bad / Tia & Tamera
Of course, the first loss felt will be
Breaking Bad which begins its two-part final season in mere weeks. Fans of Vince Gilligan's incredibly intense and darkly comic drama series need not worry though. Sure, you may have become used to watching the fractured and toxic partnership of Walter White and Jesse Pinkman as they try to escape horrible situations, but how about watching the thrilling partnership of Style's Tia & Tamera! Just like Walter White, the best parts of the Mowry sisters' careers are behind them and what could be more thrilling than watching them navigate the exciting challenges of motherhood?!
Mad Men / Bikini Barbershop: New Jersey
Breaking Bad may be about to start, everyone is still talking about AMC's flagship show; Mad Men. But fans of the period hit will be fine! You can still see a multi-layered examination of stressful and unique work place filled with healthy amounts of misogyny, only now you can watch it on HDNET's original series Bikini Barbershop: Jersey! It's a show about an Atlantic City salon staffed by women in bikinis! In this week's episode, "Natalie, Alissa, and Kim get pierced where the sun don’t shine." Don Draper never had to deal with that!
The Walking Dead / Big Rich Texas
Of course, the biggest ratings draw on AMC recently has been
The Walking Dead, so this is where we'll find the most unhappy fans when they don't get the next season. But they can cheer up with Big Rich Texas! Sure, it was gonna be fun to watch all those zombie survivors hiding out in an abandoned Atlanta prison, but it's just as good to watch a bunch of beauty queens hiding out in a rich Texas country club. And that's not it! They're practically the same show! I mean, it's still a bunch of people with Southern accents sitting around doing nothing while but bickering while you desperately wait for something to actually happen! Besides, on Walking Dead, you only get one of TV's most unpleasant female characters in Lori. On Big Rich Texas (or any other reality show on this list) you get a whole bunch!
Portlandia / Jerseylicious
But audiences aren't just losing AMC. They're also losing IFC which, in the past couple years, has become
the place to go for edgy and original comedies. Comedies like Portlandia, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein popular sketch comedy series. And, yes, Armisen and Brownstein have made absolutely brilliant comedy mocking the quirks of Portland residents, but how about we give the East Coast a try? We can with Style's Jerseylicious! It's just as funny and, just like Armisen and Brownstein wear lots of silly costumes and make up, the Jerseylicious women appear to have turned their skin a color that God Himself never imagined!
Comedy Bang Bang and Bunk / Drinking Made Easy
In addition to the hit
Portlandia, IFC has recently launched two great new comedy shows, Bunk and Comedy Bang Bang. Both shows give a surreal spin to well worn television genres (the game show and talk show respectively) coming up with something entirely new in the process. So new that I really couldn't find anything comparable on the replacement channels. But, hey, how about HD Net's pub-crawl series Drinking Made Easy? It doesn't seem that similar but you could always just get drunk while watching.
Any of WE's reality shows / Any of Style or HD Net's reality shows
Now onto the third missing channel: WE. Here we have some good news. Really, if you're missing the reality shows on WE (
Bridezillas, L.A. Hair, Kendra on Top), just watch the reality shows on HD Net and Style. I mean, seriously, what's the difference? I doubt you'll even need to reset your DVRs. They're all the same exact show. Yay!
The Onion News Network / Nothing
And, finally, IFC's
The Onion News Network. Unfortunately, there's no show like this on any of the new channels. Of course, there's also no show like this on the old channels. IFC canceled it.
Yeah, I'm still pissed IFC.
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