Ellen Opens Oscars with Old School, Hilariously Biting Monologue

Host Ellen DeGeneres opened the 86th annual Academy Awards with a joke about the devastating rain in Los Angeles over the last few days. Getting that tragic news out of the way, she proceeded to talk about everything that has changed in Hollywood since she first hosted the show seven years ago.

DeGeneres used her “nice” reputation to surprise the celebrities in attendance with some biting and cringe-worthy one-liners. The meanest she got was when she commended “one of the best Liza Minnelli impersonators” she’s ever seen. “Thank you, sir,” she told the actual Liza Minnelli.

Besides that there were jokes about the lack of college-educated actors in the room and some swipes at Jennifer Lawrence for tripping and falling not only last year on her way to the podium, but again this year on the red carpet.

She ended her monologue by musing about all the possibilities that could transpire over the course of the evening. “Possibility #1, 12 Years a Slave wins Best Picture,” DeGeneres said. “Possibility #2, you’re all racists.” Then she welcomed the night’s first “white presenter,” Anne Hathaway.

Watch video below, via ABC:

[photo via screengrab]

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