John Oliver Offers ‘Premium Cable Profanity’ With Paris Rant


Per the wonders of social media and the Internet, the reactionary and rage machines are capable of responding to big events with lightening-quick speed. Hence the terrorist attacks in Paris on Friday, which generated (a) breaking news reports, (b) politicos speculating about the event as it was still breaking, (c) reactions to said speculation as event was still breaking, (d) Donald Trump saying something and (e) and tributes. And not necessarily in that order.

Never fear, for Last Week Tonight host John Oliver entered the fray on Sunday with a short, yet contextually appropriate series of comments on the matter. Short, because just over 60 hours have passed since the first bullets were fired, so there no need to dedicate the entire episode to the attacks. Contextually appropriate, because it’s HBO, so “f*ck these assholes.”

“This is when it actually helps to be on HBO, where those things can be said without restraint,” said Oliver on Sunday night. “After the many necessary and appropriate moments of silence, I’d like to offer you a moment of premium cable profanity.”

“Here is where things stand,” he continued. “First, as of now, we know this attack was carried out by gigantic f*cking assholes. Unconscionable, flaming assholes. Possibly working with other assholes. Definitely working in service of an ideology of pure assholery. Second, and this goes without saying, f*ck these assholes!”

Oliver concluded the short bit with an impassioned defense of France’s longevity and culture, noting that “France is going to endure” because of depressing existential authors, wine and pastries.

Check out the clip above, via HBO.

[Image via screengrab]

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