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Jon Stewart Consoles Liberals Over Their No Good, Very Bad Day

Let’s face it– liberals are going through a bit of a rough patch. With President Obama resuming military trials in Guantánamo and NPR in complete disarray, Jon Stewart wanted to “pour one out” for the “liberal homies” down on themselves for the bad day. And by “one,” he means a handcrafted pot of homemade gourmet salad dressing– right onto his lap.

After promising during his campaign that he would shut down the Guantánamo Bay facility within a year, President Obama has now ordered trials to resume, and some detainees are being kept without evidence, by virtue of being dangerous (much of the evidence is in the wasteland of Afghanistan, making a trial somewhat difficult). Stewart noted his lack of academic background (“I’m not a lawyer. I’m neither Jacoby nor Meyers”) but found the decision strange. “I always thought the point of evidence was if you didn’t have enough, you’re not allowed to keep them in prison. That’s one of the many differences we have in this country between prisons and zoos.”

Then he turned to mocking the NPR mess created by James O’Keefe, “the Ashton Kutcher of the conservative movement” known for “the least plausible pimp costume ever. Why would a pimp wear ski goggles?” Most of his derision, however, was reserved for Ron Schiller, the NPR executive caught on camera. And no, Stewart wasn’t particularly upset by the Tea Party comments so much as with the five-minute conversation on “the pleasures of madeira wine”– with people he believed to be Muslims. “But enough about madeira, let me show you my prize-winning bacon and porn collection!” Stewart joked.

Stewart concluded his coverage in true form after airing a fake NPR “report” on the scandal (and prosciutto)– by calling NPR “pussies” and falling asleep.

The segment via Comedy Central below:

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