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Stewart Grapples With GOP’s ‘Fear of Anal Puppet Finger-Banging’ to Stop Obamacare

Jon Stewart returned Tuesday night roundly mocking the Republican plan to defund Obamacare by any means necessary, even threatening a government shutdown. What disturbed Stewart the most were the creepy anti-Obamacare ads featuring a big-headed Uncle Sam, leading Stewart to conclude that Republicans are counting on an “appeal to fear of anal puppet finger-banging” to kill the health care law.

He took Ted Cruz to task for calling Obamacare the worst thing ever, mockingly piling on, “Nothing spoils Breaking Bad, nothing sews you into a human centipede like Obamacare!”

But what really set Stewart off was Cruz saying once people embrace Obamacare, they won’t ever want to get rid of it. He said, “It’s like crack to us, you give us one small taste of Social Security, and suddenly we’re all sucking the glass dick of not having our old people freeze to death and live off cat food!”

Stewart concluded that Republicans aren’t afraid it will be a trainwreck, “They’re afraid we’re gonna like it!”

Watch the video below, via Comedy Central:

[photo via screengrab]

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Follow Josh Feldman on Twitter: @feldmaniac

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