When news broke that Vice President Joe Biden was going to make a previously unannounced speech in the Rose Garden of the White House on Wednesday, 24-hour cable news lost its collective mind. Nowhere was the anticipation more pungent than on CNN, where anchors and reporters did in 48 seconds what MSNBC painfully stretched across 48 hours — rant and rave about whether or not Biden was going to announce his candidacy. The answer was no, but CNN’s rampant speculation beforehand was quite annoying, to say the least.
Especially for Nightly Show host Larry Wilmore, who perfectly encapsulated what everyone else was thinking into eight glorious words: “Why don’t you just wait five f*cking minutes?”
“You don’t need to predict the news. You’re just supposed to report it after it happens,” he said. “Before it happens, it’s not even news yet. You can’t Minority Report the news!”
Of course, with the advent of 24-hour cable news, new media, viewers, clicks, shares and so on, no one actually thinks that the news can be predicted. However, trying to get there first is very important when considering these metrics, hence why CNN’s pre-announcement coverage was eerily similar to its ongoing focus on the missing Malaysia Airlines flight. Or why Fox News was predicting, per three different sources, that Biden was in fact going to run.
Check out the clip above, via Comedy Central.
[Image via screengrab]
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