May The 4th Be With You: How To Celebrate Star Wars Day

On CNN’s Starting Point this morning, I learned something incredibly important: Star Wars fans can, in fact, be bigger dorks. In a brief bit of headline fluff, anchor Christine Romans pointed out that today is International Star Wars Day, by virtue of the date’s pun-tasticness: May the 4th Be With You. Since I missed International Put Penicillin In Your Mayonnaise Day (or Dos de Mayo), I’m going to make the most of my newly-discovered holiday by advising my fellow padawons how to mark the occasion.

If you’re an American news anchor, you do an all-too-brief 30 second blurb on this momentous day, but apparently, if you’re Australian, you get to go to work in awesome Star Wars costumes, and get made fun of by your American colleagues:

Of course, if you’re not in an Australian news crew, there are many other ways to amuse yourself on International Star Wars Day:

  • Find a Terminix guy to follow around all day, periodically yelling “IT’S A TRAP!”
  • Dress up like Mr. Spock with a light saber, and film your fellow fans’ apoplectic reactions.
  • Rearrange the Star Wars posters in your mom’s basement.
  • Buy your girlfriend that Princess Leia slave girl costume you’ve had your eye on. (I’m kidding, you don’t have a girlfriend)
  • Console yourself with the knowledge that at least two of the films were more fun than virginity.
  • Sing It’s Your Thing at a karaoke bar with your friends, billing yourselves as the “Mos Eisley Brothers.”
  • Sing Rio with your friends, billing yourselves as “Alderaan Duran.”
  • Sing a Joshua Tree medley with your friends, billing yourselves as “R2-U2.”
  • Finally finish production on your amateur Star Wars porn film, Greedo Shot First.

Update: The Isley Brothers song in this post has been updated from “Fight The Power” to “It’s Your Thing,” to prevent confusion with the Public Enemy song among our readers who aren’t a hundred years old.

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