Stephen Colbert Fantasizes About ‘Donald Trump Sex Tape’: ‘Over Two Minutes of Hard Core Action!’
Stephen Colbert opened Monday’s episode The Late Show with a breakdown of all the latest “presidential porn star news,” starting with reports that President Donald Trump’s legal team is attempting to thwart Stormy Daniels’ 60 Minutes interview from airing.
“Just when you think there can’t be more presidential porn star news, suddenly there’s a bumper crop. ‘Bump Her Crop,’ by the way, one of Stormy Daniels’ most popular movies,” Colbert said.
“Stormy recently sat down with Anderson Cooper for a 60 Minutes interview. Rumor is it’s going to be on this Sunday, but now Trump’s lawyers are considering a challenge to stop 60 Minutes from airing it. Why would Donald Trump be scared of a show whose logo is a ticking clock, slowly counting down the seconds until the time is up?”
Colbert went on to note that Daniels has offered to pay back the $130,000 she was paid in hush money in order to speak freely about the affair — which would also allow her to release any evidence of the dalliance, including everything from text messages to videos.
“Wait a minute, videos?” Colbert said. “Does that mean there’s a Donald Trump sex tape? Will we soon see the release of ‘Rail to the Chief: Donald Hump in the Oral Office?’”
“Over two minutes of hard core action!” Colbert exclaimed.
“We don’t need to go that low! That’s not right!” he joked. “And it’s too bad this came up because Trump’s been in such a good mood lately. Friends describe him as ‘giddy.’ A man who has finally fully indulged his itch to break free of John Kelly’s restraints. Wait, what!? Up until now he was restrained?!”
“Quick, get a tranquilizer gun and shoot with me it. I don’t want to see what happens now!”
Watch above, via CBS.
[image via screengrab]
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