On Thursday’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert lashed out at New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg over his proposal to ban supersized sugary drinks in restaurants, movie theaters, food carts and concession stands, calling him a “sick bastard.”
“No more giant soda at the movies for the entire family to share. No, the man says. No, you can’t have it,” Colbert lamented.
“No more giant sodas? Come on! This is America, the land of plenty,” Colbert protested. “We haven’t even achieved Type 3 Diabetes yet. We’re so close. And I don’t know about you folks, but i can’t drink less than 16 ounces. I need a soda so large that James Cameron wants to go to the bottom of it.”
Colbert then had his pet giant drink, Drinky, come out to stare into stock footage of the sunset.
“You just go stare into the sun, boy,” said Colbert. “You just don’t turn around, Drinky. Just– just keep staring in the sun, Drinky.”
Colbert then proceeded to shoot Drinky execution-style via Bloomberg’s new guidelines.
“He was so young. And so refreshing. Is this what you want, Bloomberg?” Colbert screeched. You monster!”
Watch Colbert’s Big Gulp execution below via Comedy Central:
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