Stephen Colbert: Obama’s Health Care Plan Is Creating ‘Army Of Flesh-Thirsty Young Sluts’


The Department of Health and Human Services really established that America’s private insurance companies must allow access to preventive health care needs to women. Free H.I.V. screenings, free counseling, even free breast pumps are covered under the plan which could start as soon as next August. Stephen Colbert is predictably outraged over this, declaring last night that “a woman’s health decisions are a private matter between her priest and her husband.”

The topic of government mandated health care for women has brought the issue back into debate in the last few days, primarily championed by Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, or “Papa Bear,” as he is affectionately referred to by Colbert. In fact, just last night, O’Reilly and FBN’s Lou Dobbs discussed this very subject in a manner that would likely have ended up on the Colbert segment had the timing worked out. O’Reilly believes that this sort of mandate “spooks investors” which he earnestly addressed in his Talking Points segment last night as well.

At issue is role of the federal government creating regulations that help create a healthier and happier populace, or if this is the sort of issue that should be solely left to private companies and “free marketeers.” It doesn’t really matter to Colbert, who went on agree with Rep. Steve King (R-IA) that this is a disastrous plan, stating that since free birth control will clearly wipe out the human race, America’s insurance companies should only cover necessary medical expenses. Like boner pills.

Watch the clip below, courtesy of Comedy Central:

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Colby Hall is the Founding Editor of He is also a Peabody Award-winning television producer of non-fiction narrative programming as well as a terrific dancer and preparer of grilled meats.