Colbert began the segment by promoting “the most romantic holiday of the year” — Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream Free From 5 to 8 p.m. At Participating Ben & Jerry’s Scoop Shops Nationwide Day. “Stop by for a free scoop with your lover,” Colbert said, before noting that it also happens to be Valentine’s Day, which he sees as a day to reflect on your loved ones and those you hate, like, in Colbert’s case, Jimmy Fallon.
Colbert took a few digs at Fallon’s Ben & Jerry’s flavor, “Late Night Snack,” saying that one of the ingredients in it was
“My Dearest Jimmyest,I know we’re supposed to be eternal enemies until March 3, but without you, I feel like vanilla ice cream with salted caramel and fudge-covered potato chip clusters. Terrible. Sometimes I lie awake at night wishing for a glimpse of your face. But I always fall asleep before your show comes on. So I hope you’ll accept this token of our friendship and let’s be best buds again. Please read this next sentence in a whisper: I miss us. Sincerely yours, The Reverend Sir Dr. Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert D.F.A., dictated not read.”
Watch a clip of the segment below, courtesy of Comedy Central: