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The Daily Show Takes on Hobby Lobby: ‘Sorry, Whores’

Jon Stewart returned from a two-week vacation last night to discover all of the horrible things that have been happening around the world in his absence. But it wasn’t until the second segment of the night that he turned his attention to the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby decision, of which he declared the final score “Hobby Lobby 5, whores 4. Sorry whores.”

“Aside from codifying the somewhat odd notion that corporations can have deeply felt religious beliefs, one thing struck me about the decision,” Stewart said. “Hobby Lobby didn’t want its employees insurance to cover certain contraceptive methods such as ‘Plan B’ because they said that method caused abortions. So the problem with that is it’s not, what’s the word I’m looking for? True.”

For more, Stewart turned to senior correspondent Jessica Williams, who helped explain that the ruling only applies to “closely-held companies.” She defined that categorization as a “hug that squeezes all the sluts off the health plan.”

Soon, a bottomless Jason Jones joined Williams to defend his right to show up to work without pants, you know, to protect his “dick baby.”

Watch video below, via Comedy Central:

[Photo via screengrab]

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