This Exists: Pole Dancing For Jesus
In Houston, the Fox television station asks an important question: “how on Earth can you mix pole dancing with Jesus.” Indeed. And since this is local news, we get the treat of a full investigation of the Texas phenomenon of pole dancing for Jesus, which takes church-going girls, puts them in stripper heels (“the shoes are good for the glutes”) and puts them on the pole. You know, for fitness. And God.
“People have to bring their church program to get into the class, so we basically are just continuing the whole worship thing,” the instructor explains in a quote so perfect we couldn’t have done better with every snark-cylinder firing.
Of course, since this is a local news story, the reporter is required to try pole dancing for Jesus, and after a few spins she tells us “ow, it hurts a little.” Nobody said loving Jesus was easy.
Watch it here, from KRIV-TV:
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