This Maryland TV reporter has something to say about the Ravens (That’s a football team, by the way. I add this for those of you who, like me, only watch large, costumed men playing with balls when it’s called RuPaul’s Drag Race). So listen the [redacted] up!
“As fans,” said WJZ-13’s Marty Mass, quite matter-of-factly, “we so totally rock. We are elite.” He added that, “it absolutely sucks,” and revealed that he bit through a mouth guard Sunday night, so tense was he about his beloved Ravens. Also, he’s having an issue with reflux. “I’m going to have to take a Prilosec,” he admitted.
“Disappointed, but not disenfranchised,” agreed anchor Don Scott, whose voice is like sweet (elite) molasses being poured onto a football.
Bass also gave a heartfelt shout-out to Patriots owner Bob Kraft, who lost his wife Myra to cancer last summer. Bad things happen, Bass said, but sport victories can totally balance those out. Tsunamis? Devastating tornadoes? Disease? Sports are here to make those better.
“Bob Kraft lost his wife,” he told viewers. “He had a pretty good day yesterday. You know. All things considered.”
Wise words, man. Wise words.
Have a look:
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