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Curious Daily Caller Writer Wants To Know: ‘What Are Women For?’

by James Crugnale | 7:50 am, February 17th, 2012

» 17 comments

The Daily Caller‘s James Poulos is a man searching for answers to the most difficult of life’s questions, namely: “what are women for?”

In fact, Poulos calls this riddle wrapped in an enigma “the significant battle” of our time, as “none of our culture warriors are anywhere close to answering that question.”

If you’re like Poulos, and view women in much the same way you view that handful of pegs and screws that’s left over after you build a piece of Ikea furniture, or that thing at the back of your throat that looks like a punching bag, do read on.:

The prevailing answer is the non-answer, a Newt-worthy challenge to the premise that insists the real purpose of women is nothing in particular.

Such an answer may or may not be a landmark in the progress of the human race, but it is anathema to most conservatives of any political party, and for that reason conservative folkways, prejudices, and ideals are once again on trial.

Poulos took some time exploring his existentialist question, which encompassed a comprehensive 1,000-words.

His point appears to be that female liberals are essentially divided into two camps, women who want to have babies (the suburban set) and women who don’t (single urbanites?) He even threw in a dig at LGBT people who had the audacity to question Sex and the City‘s Cynthia Nixon’s assertion that being gay is a choice. He labelled them “the left’s cultural policemen of ‘aiding and abetting bigots and bashers.’”

Still, perhaps his strongest rhetorical flourish came with this allegorical gem:

The purpose of lifting the left’s Potemkin skirts is not to score tits for tats.

On first read, one might think ‘he must be trolling, or this must be an elaborate spoof by The Onion…an outtake from the Sh*t Nobody Says viral video?’ Nope, it appears to be the real deal.

To top it off, when Poulos first posted the article, he didn’t even direct it to any, er, women:

Read the full essay here, if you too, want to know what women really are for.

(h/t Irin Carmon)

James Poulos, The Daily Caller, things that make you go hmmm..., women

Gloves James Donahue

“What Are Women For?”

To keep us civilized.
http://twitter.com/Fools_RushL_in Ray in Bowie

I read this yesterday, and did not know exactly how I felt. Now I do.

If this had been turned in as an assignment in an entry-level philosophy class, the appropriate response from the professor would have been –
“WTF ARE you talking about? I can’t dignify this pablum with a grade. Let’s see if you can find another class; obviously creating a conceptual argument is beyond your ability. Good luck in your future endeavors, which will no doubt be conducted wearing a shirt with your name stitched on it.”
Anonymous

Why must women have a segregated purpose in our society at all?
http://www.facebook.com/people/Emma-Thomas/100003357377085 Emma Thomas

Oh, brother! Women are ‘for’ something? When did that happen? Apart from the silliness of the idea, what is up with the post-grad feminist studies style of writing? In any event, aren’t these right wing people supposed to be for not telling others what to do? Which surely implies not telling others what they are ‘for’? Do they have to be so obvious about who doesn’t qualify for their liberty?
Anonymous

LOL what an idiot.
http://gregingleright.weebly.com/ Greg

Right wingers, can’t live withem em, pass the beer nuts.
Charles Ulysses Feney

Women are a companion balance for man.
The Master called ‘em Yin to our Yan.
‘Cause the Creator found out
That even though man is stout
Without woman, he can’t form a clan
_______________________
C.U.F.
Anonymous

What are men for?

-to curb the nations dangerous surplus levels of buffalo wings.

-to make sure the nations bowling alleys can thrive.

-mud flaps

-hillbilly handfishing

-spider removal
Anonymous

What are women for? Well speaking as someone who has a wife, a daughter and 3 granddaughters (plus a female cat and female dog), they tend to keep the men in their lives (husbands, fathers, grandfathers, brothers, etc.) from getting too much of an inflated ego.

My daughter claims that it is part of her “job description” to drive me up the proverbial wall, and she has taught her two daughters and niece how to accomplish the same thing. She has also taught all three girls how to get damn near anything they want out of “daddy/grandpa”.

It is so “NOT FAIR”!!! But I wouldn’t not what do if they were not around…I would be bored to death.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Juli-Kring/834934039 Juli Kring

The following quote may help;

“The animals of the world exist for their own reasons.They were
not made for humans any more thanblack people were made for whites or
women for men.”~ Alice Walker ~

We exist because we *exist*!!!

Seriosly, Poulos doesn’t actually get paid, does he?
http://profile.yahoo.com/2F2MSAFRMLTIQ6N43UKW26GVJY Eugene

best friend’s step-mother brought in $12706 the previous month. she has been working on the laptop and moved in a $512800 condo. All she did was get fortunate and put into action the directions reported on this website…. L&#173azy&#173Ca&#173sh10.c&#173o&#173m
Anonymous

I’m a conservative and I don’t mind a good argument, but I don’t know what to think about this guy. Man… that’s just stupid.
Mr. Awesome!

Woman??? What is this Woman of which you speak…I am incapable of seeing anything different about anybody! I am an asexual passive being with no personality, who is incapable of judging anything. I trust everything I read and see on television and assume everybody acts for benefit of human kind and not in their own best self interests. I have to go now the television is telling me to buy something called “Extends.” I hope it’s candy!
Dirk

I thought women were for sexy silhouettes on mud flaps.
Anonymous

OMG! Would you stop making people vomit every night, with your dumb references and innuendos.

Next time try Yin and Yang
Anonymous

What are women for?
Is this a gay guy posing this question?
expatpatriot

I haven’t read such fatuous hooey since the last time I leafed through a copy of Derrida’s Of Grammatology.

In the worst sort of faux-philosophical onanism, Poulos sets up a series of crude straw men (well, straw women) and then flails around with a Nerf bat trying to knock them down.

Missing most of them.

Yes James, many people are asking themselves, What is the meaning of life? Approximately half of those people are women. However, seeding a pointless, twee, and overwrought essay with little epigram-bombs of simulated controversy really doesn’t add to the debate.

Have you considered a different career? I don’t think this writing thing is working out.