Patti Stanger And Jenny McCarthy: Experts Without Expertise

by Philip Bump | 10:50 am, November 1st, 2011

» 30 comments

Patti Stanger is inept primarily because she’s delusional.

The star of Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker, Stanger prides herself on her savvy ability to create romantic relationships from mid-air. Now in its fifth season, the show thrusts millionaires – usually men – into a roiling stew of potential mates – usually women. Patti lays down ground rules, a match is made, and all are happy.

Except: that never happens. In the first season, the introductory credits claimed that Stanger (who is a “third-generation matchmaker,” whatever that is) had a 99% success rate. In later seasons, that became a “very high” success rate. In practice, as seen on the show, it could be well-described as an “abysmally low” success rate.

I’ve seen probably every episode (God have mercy on me) and can attest to the fact that maybe 33% of the time, couples go out on a second date. Rarely are they still dating by the time the episode airs. One monkey sitting at one typewriter would type names of successful couples well before Stanger and her staff of cast-offs from Coney Island would.

This doesn’t deter Stanger from outlining her archaic, embarrassing rules for love every chance she gets. She recently caused a stir after an appearance on Bravo’s fan-friendly talk show, Watch What Happens Live, after matter-of-factly explaining that gays can’t maintain monogamous relationships, Jewish men lie, and that women should act dumb. For regular viewers, these pronouncements were hardly shocking: Stanger regularly utters similarly idiotic bromides. Men must be the agressor; women should be dolled up like they’re headed going to Hugh Hefner’s birthday party. It’s part of her schtick, yes – but she also obviously believes in the product she’s selling. After all, if her rules for matchmaking were wrong, it would mean her skills to that end were no better than anyone else’s. That they aren’t, of course, doesn’t distract her in the least.

Which is why it’s perfect – divinely, hair-pullingly perfect – that a special guest joins her on tonight’s episode. That guest: Jenny McCarthy, America’s premiere purveyor of wholly nonsensical horseshit. McCarthy, once known for being a Playboy bunny with a sense of humor, is now famous for being at the front of every “vaccines lead to autism!” parade in America. McCarthy is as knowledgable on medicine and science as Stanger – whose engagement was recently called off – is on romance.

It’s important to note: there is absolutely no demonstrable link between autism and vaccines. None. Zero. Just as Gardisil doesn’t lead to mental retardation, the anecdotal evidence of concerned parents (while legitimately heartbreaking) is evidence of almost nothing. Controlled studies conducted outside the emotional influence of an impacted party say the link just isn’t there.

Yesterday, a mind-boggling chart was posted by The Atlantic‘s Megan McArdle, showing that one expensive private school in the San Francisco Bay Area had student vaccination rates below 25%. These are parents who want so strongly for their children to be successful that they’ll pay $17,000 a year for a third grade education – but will forgo basic, proven medical treatments because they know better than the doctors who insist that vaccinations have only minor side effects and bear enormous reward.

After all – wouldn’t it be great if retardation and autism and God knows what else were the result of something as simple as a vaccination, a medical insurance policy? It’s so easy, when talking with other parents (who are sure they read about a link between vaccines and various bad things in… was it The Times?) to think that the vaccine is the risky act, not the conservative one. But moreover – its so easy to assume that one’s own emotional, experiential view is more sound than that of some impersonal, objective study. Those doctors didn’t test my kid. I know what’s better for him.

That’s how McCarthy got into this racket. Her son Evan is autistic, and McCarthy is convinced that the culprit was a vaccine. She has been at the forefront of the cause, continuously defending a now-disgraced doctor whose faulty, biased research once implied such a link. Her son’s autism, then, isn’t Jenny’s fault. And nothing will change what she knows in her heart.

If it weren’t so damaging, it would be sad. One study indicated that 24% of parents respect the medical advice of celebrities like McCarthy. That Bay Area school is an example of what the cheerleading of McCarthy (and others) has done; California is seeing a 10-year high in reported measles cases, as fewer and fewer parents vaccinate. (Why California? California loves the nature-is-better mentality that casts a suspicious eye at medical intervention. See: Jobs, Steve.)

Stanger’s inept fumbling through the lives of “clients” is basically harmless, though infuriating for its complete lack of self-awareness. The only ones harmed are the (often highly unsympathetic) bachelors, who don’t find love and leave a little lighter in the wallet.

McCarthy’s ineptitude is much, much worse – though equally deluded. Her star turn as guest matchmaker tonight should give the lie to Stanger’s self-identified special gift, given that McCarthy’s all but guaranteed to match her success rate. But it won’t. Both Stanger and McCarthy are way too far down the dark wells of their own self-confidence for any rope – especially one of rationality – to reach them. They’ll just keep foundering in the dark, while praising each others’ efforts.

If only America’s supply of expertise matched its uncountable number of experts.

bravo, Million Dollar Matchmaker, Patti Stanger

Anonymous

Experts without expertise: sounds like the GOP has two new candidates!
http://twitter.com/MarkH76248 Mark H

I agree with everything said but then again it’s a sign of the times and just how stupid television networks have become over the past ten years. Reality TV has been the death of us all….from Kim Kardashian’s multi-million dollar bullshit wedding scam for pubilicity and this jewish troll’s so called expert dating advise. Shame on us all
http://mediamatters.org/ Leedog

=)
http://twitter.com/JCP1975 JCP1975

Ah yes, I’ll take dating advice from the single, never married, Old Maid. What could go wrong?
Anonymous

That would be funny if anyone other than Obama was the leader of the Democrats right now.
Anonymous

Maybe they should run a half-term Senator with community organizing experience? Oh… wait… that’s already been done. How’d that turn out? Oh… ya… ouch!
Anonymous

On a serious note. Jenny led many parents to not vaccinate their children. The disaster of this will come years from now.
parent

It amazes me how idiots can rail against corporations and pharmaceutical companies (see all the occupy wherever nonsense) but completely accept without question their BS regarding the necessity of injecting poison into our children. What the hell is the matter with you? That super smart doctor who knows better than you is paid by the same pharmaceutical companies that make the poison to tell you it is perfectly safe. Do your own research, do not listen to the people making and dispensing the poison, before you make a decision to vaccinate.
Anonymous

Relatively well, in fact. He reversed the economy’s free fall, rescued the auto industry, kept us from sliding into a full-scale depression, gave the order that got Bin Laden, successfully participated in a limited military effort to avert a humanitarian catastrophe in Libya (which also resulted in the downfall of Qaddafi), is currently working to bring our troops home from Iraq, has improved our status globally, stopped torture as a policy, and brought health care to millions who were without.

All in all, a very decent record.
Klem Johansen

All around, extremely well put. We live in an age of prideful ignorance, an era of balkanized information that enables the deluded and enriches the deluders. Sad, really. I wonder if the phenomenon is related to something in vaccines.
Anonymous

I think you need to get this…..

http://topappcharts.com/445326700/app-details-obama-clock.php

Who’s plan is Obama using to bring the troops home?

And finally….. http://www.mediaite.com/tv/report-secretary-of-state-hillary-clinton-deserves-credit-for-gaddafi-ouster/
http://twitter.com/grimcity Neal Boyd

Alex Jones’ head ‘dun asplodinated!
Anonymous

Despite the relentless drumbeat of propaganda from the CDC, public health authorities, mainstream media and the thuggish on-line goons like Mr. Bump, there’s a funny thing going on. The evidence of a connection between mercury exposure (there were12 mercury laden vaccines in the 1990′s) and autism keeps growing.

Recently, two scientists at the University of Northern Iowa, Catherine DeSoto and Robert Hitlan, published a fascinating review paper. They asked a simple question: what does the published evidence linking autism and mercury really say? To answer that question, they did a simple Pub Med search. They searched for the terms “(Autism AND Mercury). They found 163 articles (a number that has since risen to 174) and reviewed them. According to the authors, “Of these 163 articles, 58 were research articles with empirical data relevant to the question of a link between autism and one or more toxic heavy metals. Fifteen were offered as evidence against a link between exposure to these metals and autism. In contrast, a sum of 43 papers were supporting a link between autism and exposure to those metals.” In short, 74% of the published studies supported the theory.

Evidence is a funny thing Philip. Rather than attacking Ms. McCarthy, why don’t you do some real research.
Anonymous

No, that describes the nation’s current Abbot & Costello- Obama and the Dems.
Anonymous

This is known as the “Oprah Syndrome”.
Anonymous

That may well be, and I’d like to see the paper, but that’s not the point. The point is that this d-list airhead spread idiotic conspiracy theories to the pathetically gullible that vaccinations cause autism.
There is not one shred of evidence to support this Know-Nothing idiocy.
Anonymous

Anyone who follows the advice of Hollywood Know-Nothings/Z-list celebutits on matters scientific is truly an idiot. Pull your doughy ass away from your TV and get educated.
http://www.facebook.com/people/Caroline-M-Corman/1790826629 Caroline M. Corman

How about a half term governor that can see Russia from the back of her house.
Anonymous

Don’t know… didn’t support that one. Sorry.
Anonymous

By DeSoto and Hitlan’s logic, we can’t discard the “Refrigerator Mother” theory of autism, because there are still papers out there in the literature.

Many of the papers cited by DeSoto and Hitlan are from the same team: Mark and David Geier. This team is facing ethics sanctions (Dr. Mark Geier has lost his license to practice in many states). They were prolific, though. So, if science were the same as casting votes for American Idol, I guess we’d say thimerosal causes autism. Unfortunately, science isn’t a popularity contest. The facts are that the Geiers, and all those promoting the idea that there is an epidemic of mercury induced autism, are wrong. Demonstrably wrong.
Anonymous

I did my own “research” (in that I’ve read the research of others. I didn’t do experiments on my family). I came to the very simple conclusion: vaccines work. Vaccine preventable diseases are worth avoiding.

Funny how so many people seem to assume that if one vaccinates, one doesn’t “do research”. Insulting, really.
Hang_the_DJ

http://whatthefuckhasobamadonesofar.com/
Anonymous

I’ll bet she is a liberal just like you! How’s the economy, jobs, constitutional rule of law going for the last few years with your clowns in charge! LOL! Facts are a biatch aren’t they?
Anonymous

One word, no, three. DELUSIONAL, EASILY FOOLED.
Anonymous

Except she NEVER said that. Ever hear of Saturday Night Live? Libs are so easily mislead. Tha’s why they are libs.
Anonymous

Try electing a lying/progressive/socialist/half term senator/community organizer who never held a real job to the presidency, after having a republican in office that spent like a democrat and find out. Oh wait, the uninformed/easily conned did just that! Now just look around you!
Anonymous

Don’t be so hard on yourself. If you just turn off the radio El Rushbo won’t fool you again!
Anonymous

So I see your boy talks to God now. I know you can’t be liberal and intelligent, but don’t you have any sense of self respect or honor either? If I see one more picture of your clown that’s taken in such a way as to make it look like he has a halo around his head, I think I will vomit. Is that type of obvious subliminal messaging the stuff that makes you libs salivate like Pavlov’s dogs?
http://twitter.com/AutismNewsBeat AutismNewsBeat

And who is criticizing Obama for following Bush’s plan for leaving Iraq?
http://twitter.com/AutismNewsBeat AutismNewsBeat

parent, what “poison” is being injected into children? Every substance can be toxic, depending on the dose and concentration. Table salt, water, oxygen, ethyl alcohol. What information sources do you depend on for your research?